The Obligatory Thanksgiving ListAs a young college student - back in the era before time began - we had long hair and a very full beard. We assumed this sartorial splendor mostly because we were too lazy to have it cut. However, we felt we needed an explanation for when those of a less hirsute nature asked why we looked the way we looked. Our pat answer was, "We're a college student. College students have long hair and beards. Ergo, we look this way because we don't want to disappoint you."
That's sort of how we feel about the usual holiday "lists" - in this case, Thanksgiving. This has been one butt-ugly year for us, with one personal issue after another in a long line stretching to the horizon. However, since we don't want to disappoint, here is what we are thankful for this year.
- We're really, really thankful that we weren't at the Barnes and Noble on Sixth Avenue and 22nd St. in New York yesterday. We firmly believe that Bea Arthur and holidays are a toxic combination.
- We're really thankful that we always make our own stuffing at Thanksgiving. Something's always a little "off" with the boxed stuff.
- We're thankful for the love and encouragement we receive from Mrs. Poobah and the Poobette. Being lonely can really be a drag.
- We are thankful for the drugs that keep us calm.
- We're thankful that we aren't a screaming hag of an incompetent Ohio Congresswoman. In fact, we're glad we have absolutely nothing to do with Congress, because we couldn't stomach our turkey if we did.
- We're thankful that we aren't so completely consumed by making money that we write lists like this.
- We're thankful that someone in FEMA has an ounce of sense and restored funding for Katrina victims until after the holidays. Otherwise, we're not thankful for much when it comes to FEMA.
- We're thankful that we're in a position to give rather than receive.
- We're thankful that we don't have to write a Thanksgiving story like this because it sucks all the life out of the party.
- We're thankful for Dear Leader. This one, not this one.
- We're thankful that we don't live at this person's house.
- We're thankful we aren't members of PETA or that we don't work for Al-Jazerra.
- We're thankful that these people are thankful, but we'd be even more thankful if they'd keep some of their thanks to themselves.
- We're thankful for the Rev. and for his rejoining the blogosphere.
- And finally, we're glad we're done with this list.
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Wednesday, November 23, 2005