The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: I Just Don't Get It

I Just Don't Get It

I'm honest. I'll cop to sometimes not being the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm sure some wing nut will chirp in here and back me up on that - and come to think of it, probably a moon bat or two as well. On a good day I have trouble finding my ass with a Klieg light and compass, but I'm still ahead of the chuckleheads who apparently never have a good day.

They constantly amaze me with their overwhelming blindness to their own words. They often defend themselves with the perfect counter-argument without a pinch of irony. They prattle on as if the physics of the real world is nothing more than a cruel joke they've decided to ignore - "sticks and stones may break my bones, but reality always evades me".

Some cases in point:

Gonzo's Big Adventure

Does anyone find it strange the Barrister-in-Chief doesn't want his minions testifying before Congress because he fears the precedent will deprive him of the best advice available? I mean come on! If the advice he's been getting for the past six years is the good advice, what the hell is the bad stuff like?

I'm also a little fuzzy on why it's a bad precedent for the Dubya-serfs to talk without a transcript, but it's OK to drop by for a little informal chit-chat that isn't written down. Does he really think that not writing down what they say is going to stop committee members from telling the media herd, "Gonzo said it was all Harriet's fault!"?

Oh, and Tony, Congress does have oversight. Oversight just like the executive has for the Justice department. You know, those guys you keep telling everyone to go talk to as if you didn't have control over them. Although strangely, you keep reminding everyone they serve at the pleasure of your boss.

Fighting Them Over There

Despite repeated bludgeonings with proof that there were no terrorists in Iraq (at least before we created some) Mr. Bush still says, "we need to fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here."

Respectfully Mr. President, I'd say that tens of thousands of casualties coming back over here in gurneys and body bags constitutes having the war "over here".

And I don't understand the Vice-Idiot-Savant either. He may be the only man in the known universe more out of touch with reality than his boss. He doesn't seem to understand that cackling like the Penguin, denying the situation as it beats him about the head and neck, and pissing off every country from Britain to Botswana doesn't constitute sound foreign policy. He prefers to characterize anyone who disagrees with him as a traitorous vermin hell-bent on, "not supporting the troops".

Excuse me Dick, but other than drawing fire into Bagram during your recent jaunt to Afghanistan, what have you done to support the troops? I believe you best showed your support when you answered your first media question about what the bombing was like by replying, "Actually, breakfast was quite good."

You're doin' a heckuva job Dickie. So's Halliburton.

And All the Rest

I didn't understand why Bill Clinton was stupid enough to get a BJ in the Oval Office. I didn't understand how completely he and Hillary botched health care reform and gays in the military. I didn't understand how Carter could have been such a bump on a log, Johnson could have been such an utter failure in Vietnam, or how Kennedy could be so stupid as to launch the Bay of Pigs.

I also don't understand how a man who ran on a platform of "uniting, not dividing", a loathing of nation-building, and as compassionate conservative can keep a straight face with all those lies blinking in his rear view mirror. I don't understand how a man with soldiers and wounded vets shadowing every photo op can accuse others of politicizing the war. I don't understand how he can praise cabinet members and underlings as they turn entire countries into pockmarked crapholes. However, the biggest thing I don't understand is how he can stand at the podium for each scandal du jour or each incompetent accomplishment and say, "Trust me, I'm your President."

I guess I'm just a fool.