The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: Valentine Randomness

Valentine Randomness

Damn You Cupid! - I just hate it when bloggers get all sappy with their posts. I wish he'd just tell us what's really on his mind.

Damn, Escaped Again - Sure, my mind wanders, but at least it has the common courtesy to call before I get worried.

A Texan is Born - A small kid. A big hat. A pack of smokes. It's time for some Texan fun!

Weird Demographics - It seems like this new magazine is working with a steadily declining demographic. Still, I guess any publicity is better than no publicity.

Down on the Farm - I believe these guys may be the brothers of the farmer's daughter. A hard-hitting expose (that's ex-po-say, not ex-pose) to be sure.

It's No Harvard - It seems with tuitions on the rise, some institutions of, um, higher learning, have to have a gimmick. I BID $57.50!

Truth in Advertising - It may be a fake ad, but boy does it have his number.

Pollapalooza! - His numbers are down across the board, but apparently he still polls higher than broccoli. It didn't help Crawford any though.

Well That Was a Little Depressing - Our good friend Dave Away From Home pointed us to this little demonstration of his place in the universe. Since I am omnipotent, I'm going to slip him an upgrade.

I'm a Godzilla Fan Myself - NEWSFLASH! A giant cheese grater has attacked Tokyo. There is no word yet on casualties, but the grater is said to have completely destroyed a automobile-sized brick of Tillamook Extra Sharp. FEMA has been called and is expected to be on the scene of the disaster in the year 2016. Film at 11.

Just a Little Dab'll Do Ya - Amazing new technology revealed! Company expected to release new product aimed at men who shave their heads.

1001 Uses for a Live Cat - Oooo baby! That's it! I love it when you do it rough! OOOOOOO! Can you play Wipeout? (A big tip of the omnipotent sombrero to Miss Syl)

Man, Why Didn't I Think of That? - Now's the time to buy stock in this company. I think these are going to go over big. Really big! But maybe not so big as Blue Gal's panties.

Takes One to Know One - Does John Basedow know about this dude. It'd be over the top if these two hooked up. No woman would ever be safe again.

In Other Fitness News - Two-thousand pound weightlifter and protein milkshake maven Pat Robertson is at it again. That bodyguard better watch out. Pat has a direct line to the Big Guy and all it takes is one call to put the bodyguard into a pair of concrete penitence panties and send him to swim with the Christian fishes.

Glad We Worked All That Out - Apparently, the technology of hydrodynamics is beyond some people. However, there is hope!

YAWN! - Damn bosses are always poking around at the most inopportune times. Hey! Turn off the monitor! Here he comes now!

I'll Have the Duck With Mango Salsa - These guys eat lizards for breakfast and then pick their teeth with the bones.

Also Available in the Handy DuoPack - What a wonderful world we live in when bodily functions from different ends of the body can work so closely together. (A big tip of the omnipotent fedora to Tits McGee)

Feeding Beans to the Dinosaurs - Hey! Wait a minute! I thought these guys said the Earth was only 10,000 years old.

Carrot Top, Man of Steel - I always wondered where he got his superhuman powers.