Randomolity

Weirder than a bald-headed bimbo, deader than a gold digger, and crazier than a diapered astronut...it's all the randomness you can stomach!

Candidate Throws Leaf Into Ring - He...er, she has my vote. According to WaPo, there's a real danger she'll siphon off the Hillary vote.

One Word: Ew! - Schools can teach kids to do this, but can't teach them to wash their hands when they pee. Go figure.

ZAP! - The ladies can also use it as a "personal massager", wink, wink...nudge, nudge.

Designated Pisser - This is likely to be the last thing a drunk sees immediately before the fiery crash.

The Novelty (Store) Never Wears Off - The gift store for that Suicide Girl (NSFW) in your life.

Stem Cell Debate Rages On - Stem cells aren't just for curing disease anymore.

Jet Blue Update - Then, they held him on an airplane for 11 hours and force-fed him blue potato chips.

Shrub Speaks With Forked Tongue - How's that for an accomplishment?

News Flash - Love means never having to say you're naked...you just have to show it. (Tip of Omnipotent Chapeau to Peacechick Mary at Knock Knock)

Curmudgeonly Conservative - It's no wonder they thought he was the leaker, you could hear him talking about it four blocks away.

Oye Como What? - The Samba Pa Ti goes well with the Milli Vanillishake we hear.

Tawney Kittaen Eat Your Heart Out - Why bachelorette parties (NSFW) are much much sadder than bachelor parties.

Not All Spam Comes From Nigeria - At least he didn't sell them as "organic" Viagra.

He's Making PA Proud - Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rick Santorum memorial sex statue. (Omnipotent juju goes to Random Speaks)

It Works So Well I Bought the Company! - I wonder what they're really getting at.

TMI - I think I could have gotten along without knowing some of these. (A free round at the Omnipotent Bar & Grill for Konagod)

Would You Like to See the Wine List? - Come on down to Dahmer's where the meat's always fresh and tender.

Pucker Up - Some people obviously don't know their ass from a...never mind.

Labels: humor, randomness

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Monday, February 19, 2007