A Summer Cold is a Different Animal

We're sick. We have a cold, or sinus infection, or some other goo-inducing pestilence that has laid us low.

Maybe it's global warming. We sure hope we don't have to wait for FEMA to come chopper us off a roof afloat in a huge sea of goo. Eeeewwww!

Enough of that. That's the last Katrina reference for this post. Period - or as they say in Britain - full stop.

Whenever we get sick like this we flash back to a commercial that used to play for, "Contac, THE cold and flu medicine", in the 60s. The commercial featured a voice-over in somber tones holding forth on the evils of summer colds. "A summer cold is a different animal," the voice intoned ominously. Instead of the tiny cartoon head with an anvil and lightning bolt to symbolize the pain, this commercial had a huge, ah, well...it looked like a huge breast - minus the nipple obviously, because this was 60's TV - bouncing around Central Park. Each time someone stopped to blow their nose the huge breast would bounce on them and they would disappear. It gives us nightmares to this day.

There were two things we never understood about this commercial. First, aside from looking like a huge breast, why is a summer cold a different animal? Are winter colds meerkats or lemurs or tapirs? Secondly, why is a summer cold symbolized by a huge nippleless breast? Why not penises say, or big toes, perhaps a pancreas, that most humorous of all organs?

You see what having a cold does to us. We're sick. We're not a well deity (and we're sure you'll agree in more ways than one). We've got a ton of flashbacks on a variety of mucous-induced hallucinogenic remembrances, but we're tired and will pass out before we could get them down on-screen.

The hell with this damnable omnipotence! What good is it without the power to heal?!

Good night dear readers. Good night.

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Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Monday, September 05, 2005

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