The Nature of GeorgeFor a boy who was a self-confessed C-student, Boy George sure does have a way with words. His habit of taking a complete cockup, renaming it, and turning it into a "success" is legendary. Who can forget the No Child Left Behind Act - which is anything but - or his attempts to change the phrase suicide bombers to homicide bombers or his rebranding of the phrase the war on terror for the phrase a global struggle against the enemies of freedom (we think they dropped that last one because it was just too much of a challenge for the Texas Tard's reknown oratorical skills..."global enemies who struggle for freedom", "uh, freedom struggling for a globe that is the enemy", "how 'bout freedom is our enemy on the globe"...).
This morning's media dispatch highlights yet another of George's brainstorms in a teacup - removing the phrase "respect for nature" from a UN statement on poverty and UN reform. Even for Bush Inc. - whose motto is, "Earth First, We'll Log the Other Planets Later" - this represents a bit of a puzzler. Who would be stupid enough to say, they're anti-nature? That's a bit like saying you're for clubbing puppies.
Even the Russian delegate was non-plussed, "Nature is something which needs a lot of respect," he said. This, from a country with oceans of radioactive ooze, rusting nuclear submarines, and factories that spew enough smoke to bring tears to the eyes of black lung victims. EVEN THEY UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT!
Additional bad words from the statement included respect for "human rights, freedom, equality, tolerance, and multilateralism". If the Chimperor was suddenly seized by a desire to be truthful, why not demand the removal of these words too? Obviously, he doesn't believe in these concepts either.
Ric Grenell from the US mission tried to explain that nature, "is too broad a subject, and if we had to define the multiple ways the US government respects nature, the document would be too long and way off its original intent."
Ric, Ric, Ric. There are so many holes in that wimpy argument it's hard to know where to start.
First, we're thinking that, "defining the multiple ways the US government respects nature" would be a pretty short list. We're confident that drilling ANWR, strip mining, clear cut timber cutting, and the like wouldn't qualify as ways to show "respect" for nature. Now ways of thumbing our nose at nature - THAT would be a long list.
Second, we're sure that Revoltin' John and Co. are only there for the UN reform part anyway - the hell with small potatoes issues like poverty and multilateralism. So why not just balk at all the other topics and cut straight to the reform issue? We already confident that the Attack Walrus is only going to sit at the table with his fingers in his ears while saying, "la...la...la...la...I can't hear you...la...la...la" anyway.
Our guess is that the Bushinator really does like to club puppies. So Barney, you'd better watch out. If Daddy says he's taking you to a "ballgame", watch out for where he keeps the bat.
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Saturday, August 27, 2005