Tinhorn Tex Has a Tin Ear

Welcome to the Apocalypse!

At trying times like these we're generally of a mind to give politicos the benefit of the doubt. After all, the devastation along the Gulf coast is unprecedented. Regardless of who was in charge, they would be hard pressed to move the mountains that need moving to clean this mess up. The best of politicians and logisticians would be overwhelmed by the enormity of this crisis. So it's right and proper that we should all cooperate, help our fellow humans, and not spend a lot of time blaming anyone. However at the risk of being labeled a "partisan" - which, by the way is a moniker that fits quite well - we'd like to point out something that we hope gets the attention of our Dear Leader:

Tinhorn Tex, you've got yourself a Texas-sized tin ear.

Wasn't it apparent after you had to take vacations from your vacation to defend yourself, that a lot of people are already mighty pissed off at you? Mr. "I'm a Uniter, Not a Divider", when you whizzed through the gates at the ranch, didn't you see the protesters camped out and sniping at each other like Civil War II? Did you not understand that a growingly restive population is looking for action instead of more platitudes about "it's hard work" and "we've got to stay the course"?

We know you're the master of self-aggrandizement and you can turn an argument against you on its ear in a heartbeat, but those are not qualities that serve you or us well during a monumental crisis. You've got a notoriously tin ear when it comes to what the "little man" is thinking so we humbly offer some advice on what we do need.

No more hanging out and playing guitar while people are dying. Yes, we know you can do everything you need to do from Crawford and don't actually need to be in Washington, but that excuse is like saying Eisenhower didn't need to be in Europe when D-Day was launched. One of the qualities a leader must have is visibility. That means you should have gotten your vacation-besotted ass back to Washington BEFORE the hurricane.

Stop calling for people to stop playing politics and then turn around and do it yourself. At this morning's press conference, Scott McClellan was asked why money was taken away from Louisiana flood control projects in the last budget. He referred the question to the Army Corps of Engineers - who for your governmentally-challenged benefit do NOT appropriate money - chastised the reporter for asking a politically-charged question, and then launched into a rambling dissertation of your administration's sterling record of unlimited support for flood control projects. The little man knows a pig when he sees one and this tactic is one of your biggest oinkers.

Don't pretend that your 30-minute low-level pass in a dry and safe Air Force One suddenly makes you the new expert on the disaster block. And while you're at it, physically stay the hell out of the flood zone. No one but you is served by a dramatic photo-op of you slogging through the filthy streets of New Orleans like MacArthur wading ashore in the Philippines. These people need help, not PR junkets.

As much as it must break your mucho macho heart, accept help. Several countries and NATO have offered assistance. Let the people of this country know that others are standing by us and accept the help without delay. After all, they're willing to forget what a butt head you've been to them. Swallow your foolish pride and do it for us, man. This is a good place to start mending some of those fences you so happily ripped asunder over the past few years.

Finally, make all efforts to get the National Guard back from Iraq now! They should be doing what they are intended for - guarding THIS nation. When evacuation flights have to be suspended because of shootings in the streets of New Orleans, it's time to call out the National Guard. Oh, wait! THEY AREN'T HERE! Your bad!

So please Dear Leader, take this advice in the spirit in which it is intended, it's just a little of that tough love you're so fond of promoting. We don't really care about the politics of the matter, just get going on what does matter - saving people's lives.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Thursday, September 01, 2005

AddThis Social Bookmark Button