The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: The Cats Are Out of the Bag

The Cats Are Out of the Bag

It looks like the cats are out of the bag again. Nancy's 100 Hour Honeymoon went well enough, but there hasn't been much cat wrangling since. The dems are mewing for more committees and testimony, but they're little more than extended photo ops. George has abandoned his lip service to bipartisanship and gone back to the Big Dick's favorite phrase, "Go f**k yourself." Meanwhile the republicans - including those brave few who were for the war, then against the war before they were for the Surge - have gone back to acting as if they own the place.

Can't Swing a Dead Cat Without Hitting a "Fresh Idea"

The republicans' major rap on the dems is that they never offer plans. The dems have now apparently seen the light. They have as many plans as members of Congress and each tabby scratches their putrid litter box for more "fresh ideas".

Let's see, there are threats to remove funding altogether. Threats to yank funding only for certain items. Some think a non-binding resolution is just the thing to teach that mean old George a thing or two. Others call for setting timetables (or not), imposing metrics on the Iraqis, opening the discussion for floor debate, or filibustering any debate. The administration has iced the cake - and strongly signalled where they are headed - by admitting there is no Plan C if Plan B goes the way of Plan A.

Can you say, "Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?"

Unlike George's fictional mandates, the people recently gave Congress a clear and unambiguous one, "Stop them before they invade again." Basking in the glory of a renewed majority, the dems said - as George once did - "We've got some political capital and we're going to spend it." Unfortunately, they spent it on Whiskers cat food and a dented tin of sardines. So far, they have nothing to show for their mandate but an empty dinner dish and water bowl. In a scenario where the bipartisan are merely bi-curious, it's time for someone to stand up and take the problem on.

Listen Up, ALL of You

To the Dems: You're in charge now, act like it. If the loyal opposition frets that they're point of view isn't being heard, remind them that they've had four years of bloviating and steamroll them. Take a page from the Marquis of Rovesbury Rules - if you aren't on the bus, you're under the wheels. Kick ass, take names, and get a plan - a single plan - together. At this point, applying a little brake pressure is better than none at all. Your grade in driver's ed depends on it.

To the republicans: Instead of standing over there giggling like third graders and flipping spitballs at the dems, get on the bus. The voters have already flung you under the wheels once. The next time, they'll tie you to a manhole cover to make sure you won't wiggle away again. There is no victory at the end of your road, only political roadkill and more wasted soldiers and civilians.

Author's Note: That's right, wasted. This position takes absolutely nothing away from the soldiers who died for their country. They did their duty valiantly and we should revere them for it. That reverence should prevent more of them from coming home to a moldy hospital bed or ending up under the lush grass of a national cemetery. Orderly rows of crosses may look peaceful, but they hide the awful truth beneath.

Here Kitty, Kitty

This is not anti-American, it's pro-decision making. Don't be ashamed to be an American, but be damned ashamed that we were stupid enough to elect a bunch of craven cowards who have all the spine of jellyfish.

Yes, the cats are out of the bag and roaming free. They're acting like a bunch of brain-damaged Siamese rather than the pride of lions we so desperately need. It's time for them to jump down off the neighbor's fence and stop the midnight caterwauling. If they refuse to be herded, we need to do it for them.

Here kitty, kitty.