A Opposum for Our Times

If there is one thing that both conservatives and liberals can agree on, it's that politics has become such a corrosive, toxic affair that only fools would voluntarily enter into it. And with that, we see a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Despite the high-minded ideals of the Founding Fathers, politics has always drawn more than it's fair share of crackpots and crapweasels. Our history is rife with politicos who ranged from the merely buffoonish to the downright scandalous and dangerous. Some have even managed to win a moronic trifecta consisting of all three. As a nation, we always sit around wondering how the hell such a bunch of miscreants could have made it into public office.

The answer, of course, is that we voted them in. That's the dangerous and dirty secret of democracy, it's garbage in, garbage out. Along comes a charismatic asshat and we suddenly find ourselves adrift in a sea of slingworthy mud.

The reason we like to give is that it is someone else's fault. The current whipping boy is "the media". Our venom for the Fourth Estate is a Koolaid so powerful we've divided it into more manageable segments in order to accommodate all the blame.

The MSM (mainstream media) takes the biggest hit. Conservatives hate the MSM because their penchant for finding every little flaw and magnifying it out of proportion is destroying their God-sanctioned chosen ones. Lefties hate the MSM for the opposite. They don't ask the tough questions or follow the money back to the source of all evil, the republicans.

Then, we have the media who claim they aren't the media even though they use the media to broadcast their spew. Rush Limbaugh begat Ann Coulter while the left fields stars like Randi Rhodes. The main purpose of the anti-media elite is to whip up the base using the studio echo chamber as their primary weapon. Political Darwinism has run amok and truth has evolved into truthiness, where half-truths and obfuscation vie with outright lies and shouting uber alles to feed the gaping maw of the ratings monster.

Where the hell is political creationism when you need it?

Finally, we have the blogosphere. It has evolved from the idea of a free and open exchange of ideas and democracy to a bubbling cauldron of shite. This is where the truly scary live. It's full of the nuttiest of wingnuts and the battiest of moonbats where every nutcase with a computer feels obliged to offer their screaming opinion in language so harsh Rush and Randy look like the leaders of a fairness in media campaign.

Every once in awhile, the sewage we freely splash on ourselves stinks so horribly that we blame someone else - the very politicians we elected. We rise up as a nation, banded together by nothing more than a visceral need to eviscerate, and cut the carbuncles from the body politic. Then we proceed to sew up the incisions with the contaminated thread of the opposite party. Overbearing and corrupt democrats birthed the Contract on America crowd. They devolved into a scandal prone bunch of asshats who listen only to the voice of God - transmitted by earthly idgits who'd scare the hell out of the Big Guy if he knew what they were saying in his name.

Winning is the only credo, so damn the country and full-lie ahead.

Unfortunately, the new regime will wind up in the same place a few years from now. While George stays on in a Bubble House where he fanaticizes he still holds the absolute power he enjoyed not so long ago, Pelosi's first few acts included a personal slap at Stenny Hoyer and the nomination of war hero, but scandal-plagued, John Murtha. All the while, there was the steady bray from the barking dogs of partisan warfare.

Nothing would please me more than if all of the current "leaders" magically straightened up a flew right, but I'm just not a power of positive thinking sort of guy. I'd be equally pleased if we all united as one just once more, rose up, and replaced our current bumps on the proverbial log with rational people who spoke with an "inside voice" and respected opposing views. People who didn't deeply believe that compromise is the dirtiest word in the English language. But, I'm not holding my breath on that one either.

I'd be most impressed if we all stopped shooting the most convenient messenger and did a little soul-searching of ourselves. If we were truthful instead of truthy, we'd see that Pogo had it right, "We have met the enemy and he is us."

I realize I'm taking wisdom from a cartoon opossum in an imaginary swamp here, but you have to cling to something. So I vote foursquare in favor of electing Pogo and letting him run the show.

We couldn't be any worse off than we are now.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Saturday, November 18, 2006