It's All the Democrats' Fault!

It seemed like such a quaint little scene last week when Miz Nancy and Shrub met for tea and cucumber sandwiches at the White House. Although the pair both gritted their teeth like crazy mad dental victims, they managed to croak all the right words about bipartisanship and joining hands across the political divide that's riven the country.

Then, before anyone could shed a tear over such powerful and appropriate words, the opening salvos of the new political war began.

Fire One! A renomination coo-coo-cachu for John "I Am the Walrus" Bolton. The emperor couldn't get a vote the first time around, so he recess appointed Bolton to his job as Ambassador of Dismantlement at the UN. Lincoln Chaffee - freshly whipped in his reelection bid - immediately announced he wouldn't support the nomination, just like he hadn't supported it the first time. The newly democrat-dominated committee then fired its shots across Captain Bunnypant's bows and he - as is normal - chugged right on ahead, aiming for the big iceberg on the horizon.

Fire Two! A vote on illegal wiretapping. Democrats = Nay, Bush = Yea...WAHOO! The result of this warning shot? All ahead 2/3s and damn the iceberg! "It's nothin' but a gol darned ice cube anyway!"

Fire Three! Dumbya completed his asshat trick by intimating that Iraq commission or not, he plans to stick to his trusty - but empty - six shooter on Iraq.

It looks like the iceberg's coming up fast, filling the windows the windows on the bridge of the USS Bushbomb. There promises to be a heart-rending crunch, the sound of screeching metal, and rapidly rising waters that will swamp the bipartisan lifeboat both parties find themselves confined to. A result that the fed up electorate clearly showed was unacceptable last week.

Why would Shrub charge into an immovable object? Well, aside from the fact that he has all the perception of your average tree stump, the aim is to create the very same gridlock he bemoaned with a mouthful of cucumber and tea last week. He's betting that things will slow from a crawl to a dead stop while he and the cabal accuse the dems of turning the "Do Nothin' Congress" into the "Even More Do Nothin'' Congress".

Will the electorate - which somehow managed to grow some balls for the first time in six years - push back and tell Baby Doc, "Not so fast there you impetuous young whippersnapper"? Time will tell, but this electorate hasn't shown itself to have a facile mind or a quick finger on the Diebold. Make no mistake, gridlock will ensue and you can bet that Karl will be chatting up Rush about those evil Islamo-lovers having the terrorists over for dinner.

Nancy, you'd better put down the sandwich and put on the mailed glove.

This is going to be a cage match royale by the time we all limp into 2008, pounded mercilessly by the ill-winds thrown up by the scuffle. This match will require more than head butts and perhaps biting off a chunk of Bush's ear. It will require unusual finesse, plenty of bobbing and weaving, and the ability to throw a knock out punch when it's least expected.

Nancy, you're small, but feisty. Let's hope you're very smart too.

You go girl. You go.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Monday, November 13, 2006