Blue Water and One-Handed Clocks - What the Hell is Wrong With This Country?
There is a certain beauty to the world today. It's sunny and warm (at least here in California) and the myriad elections across the nation went mostly the way we had hoped they would. Ahnold and his initiatives took a sound drubbing, Corzine fought off his ex-wife - boy, that must've been some marriage, the Dems smote the religious right in Virginia and in the sole bright spot for Repubs, Bloomberg won in NYC - but he's a Republican in name only so even this isn't such a rosy spot for them after all.
But all is not politics.
The steadily expanding universe of stupid, worthless products has expanded again. One enterprising company has introduced the Faucet Light, a contraption that turns the water coming from a faucet blue. We have to admit we were stumped as to why this would be desirable until we read the copy that said, "It's great for getting the little ones to wash their hands, perfect for running the water in the middle of the night, and just a hoot anytime." Well, we are always up for a hoot, but we think that if blue water is a hoot for you, you either need to get out more or stop washing your hands in a toilet filled with 2000 Flushes.
In another step backward, gadgeteers Hammacher Schlemmer have introduced a one-handed clock. Even they admit that it isn't very useful, but they do say it's "cool". At a retail price of $49.95 the three pound clock proves that "cool" weighs exactly $16.65 per pound - a tad expensive when compared to a nice steak dinner or subscription to the porn site of your choice.
But wait! There's more!
Apparently designed for fans of the Smirking Chimp, WowWee has introduced, "the first in a new line of animatronic animal heads that are stunningly realistic. The animatronic chimp head is plenty scary but we think one based on the actual Chimp-in-Chief would be positively terrifying. Imagine it looking at you and saying, "Dick, help me out here." We're not quite sure what to make of these harbingers this morning, but we're sure it must mean something...
What the hell is wrong with the country?
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Wednesday, November 09, 2005
