The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: An E-Mail From Mrs. Fati Zongo

An E-Mail From Mrs. Fati Zongo

Our omnipotent e-mail, like most people's these days, is crammed with a wide assortment of Viagra, penis enlargement, fake Rolex watch, and mortgage offers. Most are pretty mundane and obviously shills for something that is probably at least vaguely illegal. Many don't even provide much entertainment value, unless you count the intentional misspellings to defeat our omnipotent spam filters.

However, we do have some favorites.

Some of the phishing scams are quite good and very believable - more proof that if we could find a way to channel the energy and talent of felons into something good, like government, we might even be able to handle a hurricane.

Oops. Our bad.

We recently received two similar versions of the same scam and present the better of the them here for your reading pleasure. We've been known to give panhandlers money on occasion, not because we fell for their rap, but because the story was so good and well acted - sort of an admission to the show if you will. Of course we'd never fall for this one, but we're tempted to send them a few bucks because it's just such gosh darn good entertainment.

Enjoy.

(Spelling and grammar are original, we've added the links.)

DEAR,

I crave your indulgence at this mail coming from somebody you have not know before. I decided to do this after praying over the situation. You should please consider the transaction on its content and not the fact that you have not known me before.

I need not dwell on how I came by your contact information because there are many such possibilities these days.I would like to introduce myself as Mrs. FATI ZONGO, of Repulic of Benin, widow to late CHIEF JULIUS O. ZONGO (for Consular of the Benin).

I have been recently been daigonosed of Cancer of the Pelvics. I am writing from my sick bed. There is this US$10.5 million my husband has in an account with the African Development Bank, Benin of which I am the next of kin. With my health condition and because my husband and I have no children, I am looking for a credible person to whom I will pass the right of next of kin.

This person will apply to the bank and request for the transfer of the fund to his/her bank account. This is on the condition that you will take 25% of the fund for yourself, 5% used for expenses, while you will use the remaining 70% for the less previlege people in the society. This is in fulfilment of the last request of my husband: that a substantial part of the fund be used to carter for the less previleged.

If this condition is acceptable to you, you should contact me immediately with your full names and contact information so that I will ask our family lawyer to prepare the authorization that will give you the right of next of kin to the account in the bank.

I will also give you a text of the application you are to send to the bank. I cannot predict what will be my fate by the time the fund will be transfered into your account, but you should please ensure that the fund is used as I have described above.

I look forward to your response.

Yours,
Mrs. FATI

NOTE: THE DEED OF LODGEMENT WILL BE SENT TO YOU UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR RESPONSE OF THIS EMAIL MESSAGE.