And The Gloves Come Off One More Time

• Cheney and Scooter - Vice Asshole Dick Cheney is blaming journalist Judith Miller for her own imprisonment over her knowledge of the Valerie Plame affair. The Big Dick's Chief-of-Smear, Scooter Libby, claims he released Miller from her obligation to protect him as a source way back before she went to jail for refusing to rat the little bastard out to the Grand Jury. Miller and her lawyers claim no such thing happened until last week. Of course, no one has produced any proof for either side of this very tarnished coin, but our bet is that the walking heart attack and his evil minion probably did what Miller claims they did. Let her go to jail. Let's look at the smoke - if you had been offered a get out of jail card from the world's second most powerful man and his boy wonder (What the hell kid of name is Scooter anyway?) would you have gone to jail? Not us, we would've ratted Scooter out for the sheer spite of it and been done with the whole affair. Let's also look at the Cheney track record. Is there anyone in Washington that Dick and Scooter haven't slung mud at yet? Even people in his own party get dirty if they stand too close to the evil old bastard. My vote here...Miller's telling the truth because the other side is pathologically incapable of telling the truth.
• Cheney and The War on Terror - Big Dick is also pontificating on everyone else's failure to respond to terrorists as the root cause of 9/11. In betwixt the usual affirmations of the intrinsic rightness of his current War on Terror, Mr. Hal E. Burton told the troops in Iraq, "Time and time again the terrorists hit America and America did not hit back hard enough. The only way the terrorists can win is if we lose our nerve and abandon our mission." Dick? Would that be the sort of abandonment you publicly supported when you and Bush I let Saddam go during GW1? Or, would it be the little inauguration present of Somalia that you and Bush the Elder left like a steaming turd on Bill Clinton's doorstep? How about advocating leaving Saudi Arabia alone after the Kobar bombings because you and Halliburton didn't want to disrupt oil supplies? And, who was asleep at the switch when the terrorists blew a hole the size of a Hummer in the side of the USS Cole? Speak up Dick. WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!
• Didn't You Learn Your Lesson With Dick? - And finally, the Crawford Village Idiot has followed his previous practice by picking the person in charge of the search committee for SCOTUS. George, didn't you learn when Dick pulled this stunt last time? In picking Harriet Miers he's chosen someone who has about as much of a public record as an amnesiac castaway washed up on the shores of the Potomac. The right doesn't like her because she hasn't shown sufficient loyalty to the cause and the left doesn't like her because they know nothing about her. In the middle - wearing a very shop-worn smirk and looking like Mike Brown caught in the headlights - is George. His answer to both sides, "Trust me. She'll be good. I like her." Since his dips into the crony pool have been a bit off the mark lately - "Helluva job Brownie" - both sides will do no such thing. In the end, we'll have a lay-judge becoming one of the top judges in the country without being able to find out anything more controversial than her middle name. For our part, Tumbleweed's endorsement is enough to sour us on her, sight unseen. And George, what's with the eyes on you Supreme Court nominees? They both have the stare of the devil about them.

So there you have it. We've thrown down the gauntlet and gone political. Of course, we left out so much - Tom Delay and his daily indictments, Bill Bennett and his case of foot-in-mouth disease, Rumsfeld's pursuit of war "metrics", and plenty of other political missteps richly deserving of a skewer in the belly. We just couldn't do it anymore.

It's too much like shooting very stupid fish in a very tiny barrel.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Tuesday, October 04, 2005