Clap for the Wolfman...
Since he took office, the Employer-in-Chief has found any number of jobs for cronies, political hangers on, and incompetent boobs. Brownie, John Bolton, and half the graduates of Pat Robertson's Regent University are just some of his spectacular hiring decisions. Apparently, George is setting himself up for a promising career with Monster.com after stepping down. This guy could put most placement services to shame - he works on commission too I hear. Very cost effective - if you are the hiree and not the hirer.
The success of his uberhires is on display again with another one of his placements under the gun - Paul Wolfowitz. After the neocon acolyte of Donald Rumsfeld showed the world his brilliant strategery for Iraq, the Recruiter-in-Chief found him a new gig as head of the World Bank. Paul spit-combed his hair, donned his best rat-chewed socks, and headed off for the Bank's executive suite.
Wolfie Laughs His Way to the Bank
Unlike many of Bush's appointments, Paul actually made some progress in his overhaul of the bank - proving that even idiots can do something useful once in awhile. He clamped down on the endemic Third World graft so common at the bank and made some inroads in improving morale at the bank. For a few moments it looked like this crony would actually steal victory from the jaws of defeat.
Flush with his dazzling and unexpected success, Paul found a girlfriend with whom he could share his good fortune. However, girlfriends are expensive (and presumably in this case, also blind). She'd need a little something to tide her over and buy a few knick knacks for the elicit love nest. A man with the pull to fund entire nations had the perfect solution - hire the little chippy.
Skimmin' His Career Away
It doesn't appear as though the girlfriend was solid World Bank material. Moderate raises came and went for others, but oddly, the girlfriend sleeping with the boss on his office hide-a-bed got bigger and better ones. She may not have showed much savvy for international finance, but she knew where to scratch Wolfie when he needed a lil' sumpin' sumpin' to keep him banging, er, banking along.
Like a bunch of those damned ungrateful Iraqis, the employees starting throwing bombs instead of flowers at the conquering Wolfie. Paul's response was to pronounce the nepotism no big deal. "Hey, we've got gazillions of dollars here. What's it going to hurt if I skim a little off for my best friend ever? Robert Mugabe does it."
Many of the shortchanged employees didn't buy it and pointed out that fighting corruption with corruption is a like fighting fire with fire. However, with his in-depth knowledge of the arsonary arts, Wolfie didn't buy what they were selling. As always, Wolfie knew best. There was a standoff - employees against boss and boss against employees. You might call it a civil war if not for George's Totally Abridged Civil War Dictionary.
There'll Always be Another Job
So here we sit, with Third World Countries to fund and Paul and Chippy comfortably ensconced in their hermetically-sealed, protective Glad bag. If you listen carefully, you can hear Paul screaming, "I'm Treasurer of the World! I can really stop corruption now that I've had some first had training. Much better training than that horse race fixing gig Brownie had too!"
But, the employees still aren't buying and the bank's board - along with quite a few finance ministers - are jumping on the "Dump Wolfie" bandwagon.
Eventually, Wolfie will grow short of air in his protective bag and he'll need a new job to leap to. I'm sure that as soon as he puts out the call, Bush Placement Services will find him a new job. Perhaps something in the Department of Justice.
I hear there'll be an opening there pretty soon.
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Wednesday, April 18, 2007