The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: Randomness Xmas Style

Randomness Xmas Style

We got a mention in Crooks & Liars' Friday blog roundup, so give them a visit and share the link frottage (and a tip o-the hat to Blue Gal, give her a vote while you're at it). In fact, stop by and give my family at BIO a nod as well. We're the little blog that could.

And now, on with the randomness - War on Christmas style.

Help Wanted, Inquire Online - If you're a fan of HBO's Entourage, we hear there are openings as long as you can pass the interview. Good luck.

If You're a Vegan... - If you're a vegan this would probably be a good time to turn away.

I'm My Children's Mom - If you're giving these to your kids to play with, they're going to cost you plenty in therapy bills...with a real doctor.

Well, At Least It's Not a Mullet - I think I saw this dude at a Deep Purple concert once.

Thirsty? - Isn't it enough that we're rapidly spinning toward Third World status in this country? What ever happened to the good old tap?

La Petite Mort, N'Est Pas? - Air guitar or air orgasm, you be the judge (and this is purely for NSFW comparison purposes).

That's Funny We Thought They Were Pretty Pathetic - There were plenty of memorable political moments in 2006, many of them disasterous and heart wrenching, but if you can't laugh at others, who can you laugh at?

Funny as a Heart-Attack - We hear their Atkins Low-Carb Platter is really quite healthful.

Perpetual Halloween - Some folks say it's just a bunch of old bones, but MAN, those are some bones!

If Walt Could Only See Them Now - Everyone has their favorite fantasy, but maybe this is going just a wee bit too far. Then, on the other hand, I'm partial to Shay (NSFW), the glasses drive me wild.

A Strong Man and a Hot Iron - No, it's NOT gay porn.

Santa Conspiracy Theory Revealed - They got to the bottom of those UFO reports, now they're hot on the trail of the Bearded One.

If Only This WEREN'T Real - The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket and the Crapweasel-in-Chief is hanging out with the Crapper-in-Chief.

A Concept We Aren't Clear On - I must admit that I'm just not clear on this whole watching hair grow thing. It has all the appeal of televised golf. Now watching grass? THAT'S a sport!

Spencer's, Purveyors of Fine Crap Since 1852 - Sure, it's not a talking bass and it lacks the witty charm of the whipper tickler, but you can't go wrong with two reindeer doing the nasty. I so love the holidays, don't you?

Whore Caught in the Headlights - You just don't see headlines like that anymore...the ex-Mrs. Charlie Sheen looks a little like some gamey roadkill.

Stiff Standing Room Only - It's no party on Saturday night, but on Halloween the joint's jumpin'.

New, From Ronco! - These kids got nothin' on The Donald.

But Can You Make Tiny Little Freedom Fries With Them? - Tiny Japanese trees. Large American tubers. Viola! Bonsai Potato.

Regina...Vagina...Let's Call the Whole Thing Off - If you must be famous for something, let it be chlamydia. Sing it with Me! "O chla-myd-ia, our home and native land..."

NOW! In Specially Marked Boxes of Trix - Silly wabbit, The Blood of Jesus is for kids!

Mighty Mouse Will Save the Day! - Yet another in a long evolutionary sting of flying rodents.

That Damned Osama bin Laden! - Join the Santa Liberation Front and fight the War on Terrer!

Save the Beer! - The whales are safe, but the dolphins are still fair game.

Unquestioned Power With a Love for Gold Braid - They're a wild and crazy bunch, but they seem to have left out Baby Doc Bush.

Oops! - Everyone makes mistakes, but when you do it in print it's there for the whole world to see.