Bush's Fog of Fart Juice

Sometimes the search for a topic is difficult and other times it's remarkably easy. Which it is depends largely upon our mood. Today is one of the difficult days.

You see, we're feeling a bit peckish today. Mrs. Poobah is grappling with the effects of yet another large round of layoffs at her company - which coincidentally is owned by the ninth richest man in the world (worth $18.4 billion, yes with a "b"). The thought that these modern day Robber Gods - Robber Barons is now too weak a term for their power - compensate for their small penii by destroying the lives of thousands on a quest for who has the most toys makes our blood boil. The fact that they are not only prevented from doing it, but instead encouraged by a variety of governmental and commercial interests to do it makes our blood even hotter still.

You might expect that we would blog about that topic today, but we prefer to let some of the anger subside before taking it on. We wouldn't want to launch our full fury against Larry Ellison for it would be unfair to him and possibly result in scalding that ugly, otherwordly beard of his billion dollar face. We will, at least for today, let cooler omnipotence prevail.

However, we are interrupting the global, wall-to-wall coverage of blasphemous cartoons to talk about something else that gives us reason to don the crankypants. Today's WaPo details a news conference in which our staunch Defender of the Faith claims he almost single-handedly stopped another catastrophic attack by those Muslim cartoon-hating devils.

Bush Reveals Terror Attack - Four Years Later of Course

The revelations about the alledged attack come nearly four years after the fact as part of a charm offensive to garner more support for his troubled Patriot Act and NSA spy campaign (which he alternately claims is essential, but not essential enough to bother with niceties like the Constitution for). However, Frances Fragos Townsend, Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism, declined to discuss which "sources and methods" were used or to say whether NSA eavesdropping was involved "one way or the other."

"The point of the president's speech was to talk about the international cooperation. This was not meant to be a speech about the NSA surveillance program." Which begs the question why Commander Bunnypants brought it up within the context of supporting the spying programs if that was the case.

We also thought it was rather clever to hear President Foot-in-Mouth repeatedly refer to the subject of the attack - the Library Towers in Los Angeles - as "Liberty" Towers. He never was one to let the facts stand in the way of a patriotic metaphor.

LA Mayor: "I Don't Expect a Call From the President"

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was also a bit non-plussed by hearing about the major threat to his city for the first time directly from Bush's smirking lips. Villaraigosa described communication with the White House as "nonexistent," and added, "I'm amazed that the President would make this [announcement] on national TV and not inform us of these details through the appropriate channels. I don't expect a call from the president - but somebody."

But then, the governors and mayors of the Gulf states didn't get calls from anyone after Katrina either. Taking control of a situation is not something this President is particularly good at.

The Emporer's Fog of Fart Juice

We believe that columnist Dan Froomkin at least has a plausible explanation for all the misdirection and obfuscation - it's the old Wag the Dog syndrome. Get everyone all excited about a "new" disclosure before explaining it's really an "old" disclosure dressed like the proverbial pig. Use the occasion to spew plenty of manure about the value of spy programs and then after the speech is over, send the Under-Assistant Secretary for Clearing Up Dunderheaded Statements over to "clarify" the speech was not about spying, despite the clear implication written into the speech that it was.

But the thing about this event is that it, per se, is not what is making us peckish. No, we expect such asshatery from His Inelegance. What makes us peckish is that so many people cannot bring themselves to peer through the Emperor's fog of fart juice to realize just what a danger to democracy he is.

Sadly they can't see and apparently can't smell shit when its on the end of their nose either.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Thursday, February 09, 2006