Time for Bed

Sometimes it just makes you want to go back to bed:

Bumbling Isn't Just for the Big Boys Anymore - Our latest contractor ordeal to have our driveway replaced is nearly at an end and it only took a week more than planned, two tries to get the lumps (literally) smoothed out, an amendment to the contract to remove stains in the concrete, six checks drawn on two banks, and protracted negotiations with the work crew and concrete company. And this was the best guy we could find. There may be plenty of deserving worry about the sorry state of our multinational corporations, but we're thinking the Mom & Pop outfits are just as bad as a failing GM.

What happened to the days when the US could move the heavens and earth?

Oh yeah, the conservatives came a'knockin'.

Well, He Was a Solid C Student - Little Lord Dubya seems to have continued his lifelong pursuit of low grades. The self-professed C student in college now can't even muster that lowly GPA.

The 9/11 Commission - which graded on a curve to begin with - give him largely failing grades for his post 9/11 "strategery". Their report card included 5 Fs, 12 Ds, and two incompletes in categories including airline passenger screening and improving first responders' communication systems. And just to cement the deservedly low opinion of the administration's security efforts, the "overhauled" FBI and CIA also seemed to be stepping on their cranks this week.

Oh, and let's not forget that heckuva job outfit FEMA. Their equally inept and underachieving GPA is on par with the rest of the Frat Boy's grades.

Support From Business - You know things are going bad when Dubya can't even count on large corporations to support him any more. Fresh on the heels of his warning to companies not to dodge their pension obligations, telecom giant Verizon has announced they plan to do just that.

So here's Dub's Pension Victory Plan. First, you cut huge holes in the social safety net. Then, you allow big companies like United, Delta, and soon, GM to avoid their pension responsibilities. Finally, companies just do away with pensions all together so no one is ever able to retire (except the CEOs and loyal Republican campaign donors).

Maybe this is Dub's plan for paying down his deficit? Keep everyone working until they drop in their traces like prison labor at the corner gulag.

Well, the do call him the "CEO President".

Is Anything NOT Faith-Based Anymore - Another domino in the burgeoning faith-based cottage industry has fallen. His Lordship figures that faith-based charities should be the country's primary social safety net, the Princeling of the Grand Duchy of Florida thinks churches make dandy prison wardens, we're abandoning all that shoddy science in favor of faith-based intelligent design, and now people are beginning to choose their doctors based on their faith.

What we'd like to know is, if all this faith is working, why the hell must we continue to have faith that things will get better? Shouldn't we already BE there?

Iraq: One Word Says It All - Google the word "failure" and the top return is the Chimp's autobiography. Writ large now - and probably into history - in his bio will be a single word that has become synonymous with failure, Iraq.

Despite Commander Codpiece's "victory plan thingamajig", there is nothing about Iraq that doesn't stink from association with it. Prominent conservative Republicans think it has caused the nation harm. Our Secretary of State and face that launched a thousand oil tankers, Condi Rice, finds herself not only trying to cover our country's ass for missteps in everything from a rotting "coalition" to detainees subject to rendition, she also has to say OOPS! with astounding regularity on the world stage. One of the chief architects of this debacle is, amazingly, still at his post mucking things up with disturbing regularity while the other is hiding from questions because his skin bruises too easily after so many brushes with this festering sore. So far, about the only things we've received from this lunacy are one more middle eastern country rendered uninhabitable, a second country rapidly slipping that way, and a replay of OJ, Scott Peterson, and Michael Jackson rolled into one.

Iraq, the gift that just keeps on giving. Order your own FUBARed mess for the holidays, er, Christmas now.

We're going back to bed now. We're depressed.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Tuesday, December 06, 2005