Tagging and Chain Letters Must End

We were tagged by Spork in the Drawer several days ago. The invitation came along with a plea that we not "hate" them for tagging us. While our first impulse when we see tags and chain letters is to mutter about nutcases and vow not to comply with them for spite, we were asked nicely and they did throw themselves on our omnipotent mercy.

Just remember, THIS IS AN EXCEPTION! So don't anyone else feel free to tag us because we're omnipotent, and dammit, we have other things to do.

That last bit isn't literally true, but let's just keep that between you and me.

Herewith, our seven:

Seven Things To Do Before I Die
  1. Come up with an air-tight plan to cheat death.
  2. Make enough money to take over a large multinational corporation and fire the CEO for the hell of it.
  3. Win the lottery. See number 2.
  4. Think of a fourth thing to do before we die.
  5. Retire.
  6. Get a really cool electric train.
  7. Meet Dubya in person to see if he is really as stupid in real life as he seems.
Seven Things I Cannot Do
  1. Be stable.
  2. Sing.
  3. Vote Republican.
  4. Eat parsnips or liver.
  5. Follow a recipe.
  6. Be wise.
  7. Convert base metal into gold.
  8. Restrict ourself to a list of only seven things we cannot do.
Seven Things That Attract Me to...Blogging
  1. We can say anything we want - no matter how daft, offensive, or stupid.
  2. It gets us out of the virtual house and keeps us off the virtual street where we would surely be stirring up more trouble than necessary if given the chance.
  3. The opportunity to meet people who are dumber than us, thereby giving us the opportunity to feel superior.
  4. The opportunity to meet people who are much smarter than us, thereby giving us the opportunity to be in awe. See our blogroll on the right for confirmation.
  5. It is something one can do with a minimum of talent and a maximum of impact.
  6. It's a funny word. Think about it..."blogging"? Come on!
  7. It's free and we're cheap.
Seven Things I Say Most Often
  1. "Oh shit".
  2. "Asshole".
  3. "Asshat".
  4. "Dill hole".
  5. "Dick With Ears".
  6. "Ass wipe".
  7. "Where's the goddamn number for the Tourette Syndrome Association"?
Seven Books That I Love
  1. Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck.
  2. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Walter Isaacson
  3. The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, Carlos Cataneda
  4. Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga, Hunter S. Thompson
  5. The Strawberry Statement: Notes of a College Revolutionary, James S. Kunen
  6. First Person Plural: My Life as a Multiple, Cameron West
  7. The Fermata, Nicholson Baker
Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again
  1. King of Hearts
  2. My Man Godfrey
  3. In Like Flint
  4. Gallipoli
  5. Operation Petticoat
  6. The Big Sleep
  7. African Queen
Seven People I Want To Join In Too
  1. Anyone who would like to volunteer.
  2. Anyone who has ever sent a chain letter.
  3. Anyone who has ever been associated in any way with Amway.
  4. All former, current, and future members of the Church of Scientology because they need something to get their minds off L. Ron Hubbard.
  5. Scooter Libby.
  6. God.
  7. Anyone with a morbid fear of the number seven.

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Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Monday, December 26, 2005

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