Give or Ye Shall Recieve...An Ass-Kicking

Poobah's Note: We're going to write a little about the holidays and Christmas today. If you are offended by our use of either or neither word, now is the time to turn to another channel. Quite frankly, if you are that politically correct, everything we say probably annoys you anyway.

As far as we're concerned, the giving spirit should be something woven into your being. It shouldn't be something you only think of at Christmas, try to make into a political statement, or must be guilt-tripped into displaying. The fact is that there are way more people who need help in the world than there are people in positions to do a hell of a lot about it. Still, that shouldn't mean that we haves shouldn't try to help the have nots as much as possible.

What most disturbs us at this time of year is the colossal hypocrisy of some folks. Take, for example, this WaPo report on conservative Christians advocating cuts in poverty programs. It asks a very provocative question, "Why have conservative Christians asserted their influence on efforts to relieve Third World debt, AIDS in Africa, strife in Sudan, and international sex trafficking - but remained on the sidelines while liberal Christians protest domestic spending cuts?"

Their answer, it seems, is a question of "priorities".

"It's not a question of the poor not being important or that meeting their needs is not important," said a spokesman for James Dobson's Focus on the Family. "But whether or not a baby is killed in the seventh or eighth month of pregnancy, that is less important than help for the poor? We would respectfully disagree with that."

Well, we'd disagree with you too, and not so respectfully. Your action on reproductive rights as a higher priority than poverty fails on two counts. First, people who are here already are hungry and homeless now. Who helps them? And secondly, your "priority" only exagerates the problem by adding many people to the population who will eventually become hungry and homeless. A viscious cycle to be sure.

One conservative Christian in the story even added, religious conservatives "know that the government is not really capable of love." That may be true, but they sure have the power to help people get their lives under control so that the love you find less important than tax cuts for churches has room to grow.

The government sometimes fails in its duty to protect citizens through sheer incompetence. But non-governmental charities don't always fare any better. This is inexcusable and should be punished, but the point is, everyone (government and non-government) needs to do their part and the goverment seems to be lagging these days.

Numerous studies have shown a strong correlation between those who make less money and those who give freely to charity. The same thing can't be said for many BushCo friends, like Ken Delay, who are too busy asking people to bail their sorry asses out of troubleto be concerned with the impact their thievery has had on society in general and their now-jobless former employees in particular. We shouldn't be satisfied that Kenny Boy will get his due when he's turned away from the pearly gates, we should be exacting justice and finding ways to prevent assholes like him from doing it again now.

Hell, our Bubble-in-Chief can't even be bothered to help the men and women that he sent so cavalierly off to war. They serve in Iraq at great humanitarian and economic cost, while many of their families squeek by on welfare and support from their families at home. It's true the government is not legally obligated to do more for them, but we think they should be able to do better than running an online telethon to help them out. Mr. Bush, support for the troops means more than making speeches and excuses. It means actually supporting them and their families with adequate salaries, giving them sufficient armor, and a plan to get them home that is better than the one you used to take them there.

To those conservatives who have given and continue to help, we commend you. We're sure your chosen Deity is also justifiably proud. You chose not just to be good, but also to do good and that is an important commodity there is just too little of.

To the evil, odious assbuckets like Bush, Dobson, Robertson, and Falwell, we say, "be ashamed". Be ashamed that you have forgotten the primary reason that one should follow a religion - the opportunity to give of yourself and help your fellow man. You can redeem yourselves by teaching your children to cast aside the quest for commercialism and to concentrate on that which should be holy - the common sense and good graces to help others.

May the Lord be with you, because if He isn't, you're doomed.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Wednesday, December 14, 2005