This Post Sucks

We're in one of those omnipotently weird moods today. It's Sunday, our least favorite of days. Our skin feels like it doesn't fit, making us fidgety and uncomfortable. We're having some difficulty in choosing a suitable topic.

On the other hand, nothing bad has happened, which for us is a rare treat indeed. Perhaps this posting will put an end to that.
  • Scooter Libby once joked that he planned to keep working for The Big Dick until, "I get indicted or something.". The man's a freakin' Nostradamus - or maybe just crooked. We can't tell.
  • Why is it that you never see cats at the beach? It's like a huge litter box - full of sand and dead smelly stuff. What's not to like, from a feline perspective we mean?
  • We once came up with an idea called "Beach in a Box". A cardboard box full of beach sand. Open it up, slide it under your feet, and viola, you're transported from your sucky cubicle to a beach in Tahiti. We saw it for sale several years later. This is why we are not wealthy.
  • We knew Webvan was a crap idea from the moment it launched and staunchly resisted investing in it. You saw what happened. This is why we are not poor.
  • We're not in the habit of mourning the loss of major multinational corporations, but AT&T is about ready to go the way of the dodo. We can't help remembering it as a largely benevolent monopoly where the phones always worked and you paid a fair price. Quality, fair prices, and good service are gone now. Now we pay $89 for a phone that doesn't work and we have to call Bangalore to have our complaints ignored. We feel old.
  • We're proud to be American and all, but culturally, Canada is way cooler than most places. They have hockey and curling, Dead Tim's and some of the best place names ever. Can you top Moose Factory? We thought not.
  • We never believed the racism claims against Denny's. As far as we can see, they treat everyone equally bad.
  • We once visited a Lipton's tea plant and watched the tea taster at work. All he did was sip, swish, and spit. They say it is a demanding job, but we we don't see it. Armpit smeller, now there's a demanding job.
  • Kari Byron of Mythbusters is the cutest woman on television. Perhaps not the obvious choice, but still very, very cute.
  • These are several words and/or concepts we abhor: outsourcing, Walmartization, George Bush, Pro Life, War on Terror, win-win, and instant coffee.
  • We dance very poorly, despite the fact that we are omnipotent.
  • We are very shy. No one believes us.
  • Our coat once exploded. It's a long story we'll tell someday.
  • Our house was hit by a runaway moving van a year ago this month. We are still waiting for Budget rent-a-truck to pay damages caused when they brakes on their truck failed.
  • The best Mexican food Mrs. Poobah and we ever ate was at the Ace CafĂ© in Alamosa, Colorado.
  • The BTK Killer was the living proof of the banality of evil.

And last, but not least...we should have picked a different topic. This one sucked.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Sunday, October 23, 2005

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