This Blogging ThingMany of you have mentioned - a little sheepishly it seems - that this is the first blog you've ever read. Don't fret, you aren't alone. Several studies report that as few as 11% of some demographic populations are regular readers. I'm a newbie myself, still trying to learn all the technology and wrap my arms around what blogging is and where this particular blog should go. I've certainly got lots of examples to choose from. The blogosphere is certainly rich if nothing else.
I'm not even sure exactly why I started it, short of being unemployed leaving extra time on my hands. However, I suspect a desire to burn a little time isn't really the reason for me. It's too simple and doesn't address some of the struggles I face with this newfound hobby.
It's been quite some time since I spent any lengthy period writing anything except for the mundane memos and newsletters, booklets and briefing materials connected with my "professional" writing career. Most of that is certainly not what I'd point proudly to if asked to tick off my greatest hits, even if I'm forced to it in interviews. I mean, convincing someone of yet another corporate program or scheme I don't even believe in myself seems a bit of a dubious distinction. In fact, you might argue that the better I've done it, the worse it feels.
I came back to writing partially because I found I missed the sense of pleasure it gave me and because I needed to overcome the prolonged bout of writer's - or maybe creator's - block I was having. For years when I sat down at the keyboard nothing came. Even when I felt compelled to write, I couldn't squeeze anything out. I felt dried out and used up and fearful of the thing I once enjoyed so much. Clearly, I needed to do something. I guess this was it.
Since I've been back to writing in a semi-regular way I've produced quite a lot. Some of it absolute swill and some of it not-so-bad. I would consider none of it "good". I feel I'm doing well to reach "acceptable" on a good day. I still get the heebie jeebies and miss a few days here and there as a result. But, it's getting easier, even if I'm not up to snuff yet.
One of the things I keep asking myself is a variation on the old, "If a tree fell in the forest..." question. If I write a blog an no one reads it, is it OK? I'm not sure I know the answer.
There is a part of me that doesn't care, in fact, even might prefer, that others don't read what I'm writing. I'm always self-conscious about what I write. Despite my Omnipotent Poobah moniker I'm usually not very confident. People sometimes try to bolster me with nice words, but I find it hard to share their view. On the inside of the confident exterior is a bit of a scaredy cat.
There is another part of me that does care. Maybe I like the strokes I get more than I think. Maybe deep down I really do think I have something to say and the ability to say it well. I can't really say I understand it very well. That line of thought, like the blog continues to evolve.
I suppose that at this point I'll just leave it at being happy to be back, sort of, hope that enough people drop in to sustain a dialog, and keep on plugging. Most of you readers know me, so if you can shed some light on this confused sole, just click the comments button below. I could use the help.
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Tuesday, July 19, 2005