RandometryWhen Artist's Models Get All Pinocchio - Sure he's wood, but he's a real live boy!
Vroom, Vroom - The perfect car for that couch potato who has everything.
Cure for High Blood Pressure - Sure, it's a drastic treatment - but hey, it works for him.
Boom, Boom, Chicka, Chicka - I'd like to see one of them on the striper pole at the club. Hmm, umm, seeeeeexeeeeee!
Eat Only Eats What He Kills - Somewhere, Ted Nugent is looking at this and smacking his lips.
Dance Craze Sweeps Navy - We hear the sailor dude from the Village People really digs these tunes.
Play Ball! - Sing along brothers and sisters! It's your country too!
Who Let the Dogs Out? - Who let the dogs drive...who, who, who-who?
Testosterone Fever - In which Nate learns to make himself tres sexy. If that advice doesn't work, maybe this will help.
The Blue Screen of Death - Gerry Ford. James Brown. Bill Gates?
Upchucking a Fortune - Sure it's vomit, but it's WHALE vomit!
Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap - It's better than a kazoo band I suppose.
Mysteries of the Universe Revealed - Some questions just may be best left unanswered.
Penguins Gone Wild - Sure, they dress well, but they're true party animals.
Proposals Gone Flat - He just wants to shout his love out to the entire world. Buuuut...
Stuck to a Pole - For Ralphie, Christmas is eternal.
The Dick Vinci Code - I smell blockbuster book/movie/TV deal coming on.
But Mom! - Creepy kid time travels for kicks.
Take This Job and Shove It! - Tools for those contemplating a career change.
Notable Quotes - "If you asked them to sodomize their own mother in a movie, they would do so, and they would do it with a smile on their face."
The Loaves and Fishes - Give a man a fish and he will eat it, teach a man to fish and he'll be on a perpetual crappie expedition down to the big pond in Crawford.
Well, That IS a Novel Approach - You'll never take me coppers. Step back or I'll sodomize the dog. Do you hear me! Huh? Do you?
Where Would Jesus Hide? - You know, we wouldn't have this problem if he had the common decency to wear a striped shirt.
Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Thursday, December 28, 2006