The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!: Randomography

Randomography

Oh Come On, I Can Name More Than 10 - Just who are the 10 biggest fools on Capitol Hill?

Having a Wail of a Good Time - Apparently there's no longer any need to actually pray to God, you know, in person. Just type a few words in your email client, hit send, and you're golden.

Hugs? I Thought They Said Slugs - If this spot got any more touchy-feely we'd all start practicing acts of random kindness.

Can't I Just Drink a Glass of Water? - Desperate conditions call for desperate cures. Still, I think I'll just count to five or maybe have someone scare me.

Those Damn Mullahs Don't Want Anyone to Have Fun - The Iranians are a quirky bunch. They're always calling a fatwah on someone or doing some other similarly draconian thing, but this just takes the cake!

Recess! - All I have to say is, "I'm glad I didn't have this dude for my 8 am English class."

Mom! They Beat Me Up Again - Justine Timberlake is one lean, mean, marketing machine. I just feel sorry for the poor little buggers who actually get one of these. No confirmation yet on whether they'll come with their own "Kick my ass" signs pinned to them or if Mom will have to sew one into the lining.

Imagine There's No Heaven - We always thought that John Lennon's infatuation with Yoko Ono was a bit off. Now we see why.

Carpets Cheap - That old joke about matching carpet and drapes has taken on a whole new meaning. You just have to respect a woman who can give Jack Black a purple nurple on camera though.

I Think, Therefore I'm Plastic - First there was GI Joe, then a whole host of Star Wars figures. It was only a matter of time until someone thought of this. Now with Existential Grip!

Make Love, Not War - Here's our public service ad for this edition.

Who Ya Gonna Call? - Have a question? This guy has the answers. Hiiii-YAAAA!

Hope Spring Eternal - Word on the street is that this guy was so frightened by the Donald's toupe he decided on a different approach. He should have spoken to these guys first.

Oh Heavens! Lesbians! - Leave to the Republicans to ruin the fun for everyone.

Let's Get an Order of Sushi and Call It a Party - The Japanese prove once again that there's room for everyone's little niche in this great big world of ours. I go for the flight attendants myself. I love a seat with no room.

Oh, Fiddlesticks Mr. President! - Secret Service agents succeeded in wrestling the 14-year old to the ground before there was any violence.

Dog is My Co-Pilot - Just a little canine break.

Funny, I Thought He WAS Satan - Iranian President Mahmoud Amawhatchamacallit sure has Shrub's number.

Now Showing in the Jeffrey Dahmer Gallery - We only have one word - eeeewwwww!

Madonna is SUCH a Ripoff Artist (NSFW) - Finally, evidence of where Madonna stole the idea for huge cone-shaped bras.

And Inconvenient, Slow Moving Truth - Al Gore's out there beating the global warming drum while the real problem is elsewhere. Hurry people! We only have 200,000 years to figure this out!

Just Give Me a La-Z-Boy - Although it does match the decor of my house - sort of an early Gomez Addams, I think I'll pass.

Oh...The...Humanity! - I suppose this proves the idea that everyone is dysfunctional in some way.

M...I...C...K...E...Y - Those crazy French at at it again. Vive l'amor.

And For My Next Trick... - Sometimes it seems the White House is more confused than anyone else about who said what and when. And they called Kerry a flip-flopper.

It's the American Way - Please. Ladies. Don't go there.