Jetsam and Flotsam

Our omnipotent attention span is still flagging., so we've found a way to use it to our advantage - a post of bits and bites that pop randomly into our omnipotent head:
  • What's up with Steven Colbert's right ear? I can hardly watch the Colbert Report because my eyes keep zeroing in on it.
  • The bags in potato chip commercials always have pristine tops that are out of propotion to a real bag.
  • Extra sharp cheddar cheese and ice cold chocolate milk really taste good.
  • How come the people in CSI Las Vegas never turn the lights on? They always use flashlights, even outside and in the dayime.
  • The cadavers on CSI are much more realistic than the ones on NCIS.
  • How come you never see cats at the beach?
  • Have you noticed that Shrub is smirking measurably less lately?
  • How many different brands of beer showed up on top of Joey and Chandler's fridge in Friends?
  • Drivers almost never appear in car commercials. It looks like everything is done by remote control.
  • Why do people find magic acts entertaining?
  • Should you not use a handicapped bathroom stall even if it is the only one available and there aren't any handicapped people around?
  • How'd they get Clutch Cargo's mouth to do that in the old cartoon?
  • Why do fools fall in love?
  • Who thought that a red dot would make a dandy new logo for Kotex?
  • Every time we drive over the golden gate bridge, we have an irresistable urge to stop the car, run at the railing, and pull up just short of jumping...just to see what happens.
  • Try this experiment. The next time you get into an elevator, stand facing the crowd.
  • If you want to me members of the oppostie sex, choose a common name and walk through a crowdy area, like a beach or a mall. Each time you pass a good candidate, say the name..."Suzie? Is that you?" Eventually, you will run into a Suzie.
  • Did primitive peoples need to trim their fingernails? Nails are sorta handy tools sometimes.
  • Bob Dole looks exactly like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
  • What possesed the first person to dig up a potato and eat it? How'd they know it was food?
  • Every terrorist tape that shows up features at least one AK-47. Is that supposed to scare everyone more than a threat to blow up a city?
  • Did you ever notice just how square Trent Lott's head is?
  • If dogs' sense of smell is so keen, why don't they swoon when a garbage truck goes by?
  • How long will it be until they make a big screen version of F-Troop?
Just wonderin'.

Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Thursday, January 19, 2006

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