How Impeachment Alters the Universe


Salon columnist Gary Kamiya recently weighed in on impeachment for Uncle George. His verdict? Ain't gonna happen because the American people don't wanna. "There's a deeper reason why the popular impeachment movement has never taken off - and it has to do not with Bush, but with the American people. Bush's warmongering spoke to something deep in our national psyche."

Apparently it also spoke to the 88% of respondents to an MSNBC poll who said they "believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment." It said, "YOU ASSHOLE!"

Headless Chickens

Americans are generally hesitant to impeach and that's a good thing. If we were always yelling, "Off with the bastard's head!", Washington would be nothing but a collection of monumental coups filled with headless chickens. Frankly, the chickens who still have their heads are doing damage enough running around.

Iraq has pissed off an electorate famously difficult to piss off, the proof being the six years of relentless bad news it endured before finally saying "enough". But, if there is an impeachment - and my money is on Dilbert Dillhole's time running out before it comes - it won't be for the cluster coitus that is Iraq. Iraq is much too inconvenient and untidy. Those who bringing the charges would be much too embarrassed to confess to their own complicity. Too many people would have to recuse themselves for supporting the disaster to begin with. There wouldn't be enough free range politicians left to raise a quorum.

If an impeachment comes, it will be for the standard illegal activities that usually bring down administrations. Just like Bill's Clinton's impeachment was about lying to grand juries and not blowjobs, the collapse of the Bush administration will come courtesy of the growing number of scandals multiplying like paramecia in stagnant water.

Incompetence Begets Evil

Attorney firings begat Gonzo's still evolving comeuppance. His arm twisting of Ashcroft kicked off fresh questions about illegal wiretaps. Those questions resulted in subpoenas for documents the administration won't cough up. Connected to those documents are other batches tied to Karl Rove and Monica Goodling - one taking the fifth and the other hiding behind his desk in the White House. As those subpoenas make the rounds, another Rove aide is pleading the fifth and angling for immunity for documents related to Jack Abrahmoff, who in turn ties to Libby, Rove, Cheney, and a good number of Congressothieves.

The thigh bone is connected to the hip bone...

No. Impeachment, if it ever comes, won't be from one clearly defined mess like Iraq. It will come from the thousand self-inflicted cuts George made while cutting his nose despite his face. If there is a Bush impeachment it will be more like the death of Enron. The administration will implode into an infinite loop of lies, back stabs, poor judgment, and moral turpitude not of the sexual kind and as it does, an evil black sun will appear to suck all matter in the American political universe right into a massive and dead black core. But regardless of how this administration ends, its black hole will rival anything in the natural universe.

It will skew the orbits of all our political planets and swallow all light for years to come.



The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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Truth Told by Omnipotent Poobah, Tuesday, May 22, 2007

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